My Love/Hate Relationship with Beginner Triathlete

Yesterday, I posted my second article in a series designed to help The Wife and several of my friends as they dive (pun intended) into the world of multisport.  I put quite a bit of effort into it.  Well, as much effort as one can expect from someone who has a full-time job, trains for triathlons and is a bit of a lazy-ass to begin with. 

Now, fast-forward to this morning when I hopped onto http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/ to find any updates on the local forum and check on any new articles.  Well, what do you think I found?  A wonderful write-up entitled "What a triathlon beginner needs to get started: The Swim".

Dang it.

Don't get me wrong.  The article is great.  It's comprehensive, includes advice for both men and women and even has some products that I omitted - I mean really, no newbie is going to want to use Swedish Goggles.  They also include some purchases, such as wetsuits and racing gear that I'll be covering later on.  So, if you're new to the sport and are still looking to get yourself set up for a swim, do yourself a favor and check out their article. 

HOWEVER, I would still recommend that you check back with me over the next couple of days.  Why?  Well, mostly to keep from injuring my fragile little ego.  But I'll do my best to give you things that Beginner Triathlete might miss.  Sure, there's likely to be some overlap between their advice and what I have to say.  But I'll try to keep my focus on the budget-minded folks who still aren't sure if they'll want to keep training after their first race.  For example: can you compete in your first tri using that 10-year old WalMart bike hanging in your garage?  Absolutely.  Will you WANT to?  Ehhhh.....

Multisport on a Shoestring - Gearing Up for the Swim

Disclaimer:  I'm no pro.  So, take my advice at your own risk.  However, I have managed to train and race on a conservative budget for the last several years.  Also, I'm not sponsored by anybody.  If I recommend any equipment it's because I've actually used it.  

For a lot of folks, coming to grips with the swim can be the most intimidating part of getting ready for their first triathlon.  It takes us out of our comfort zone - you know, walking or biking around surrounded by air - and puts us in a strange environment - you know, bobbing around surrounded by water.  Most of us have seen coverage of the Hawaii Ironman with 2400 swimmers all thrashing around like the world's largest human washing machine.  During my Ironman swim, I was elbowed, grabbed, kicked in the eye and kicked in the family jewels (twice!).

Sure, the swim can be scary, but it doesn't have to be.  If you're new to swimming, the best thing you can do is get comfortable in the water.  If your first race has a swim leg in a pool, then hit the pool.  If your first tri has an open water swim, then in addition to your pool time, you'll want to swim outside too.  Open water is a completely different animal, and takes a little getting used to.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let's set you up with some gear first.

Goggles
What they do:  Unless you're Aquaman, you'll need some help seeing underwater.  They'll also protect your eyes from chlorine pools.

Need Factor: 10/10
Cost Factor: $10-$20

Where to Shop: Triathlon Shops, Swimming Shops and Sporting Goods Stores will all carry the same brands.  If you have questions, definitely check out your local tri shop or swimming specialty store.  You may pay an extra dollar or two over the big-box chain stores, but knowing that you got the right product will be more than worth it.  I would stay away from department stores like Target or Wally-World.  The brands may be the same, but they're often a lesser quality version and not worth any potential savings.

What to look for: Goggles come in a couple different flavors. First, there are your standard competition goggles.  They have small individual lenses, a plastic bridge to connect them and 1 or 2 straps to lash them onto your skull.  I go with the Speedo Vanquisher, but there are similar products from TYR, Dolfin and a number of other manufacturers.  They each have a slightly different contour, so you'll likely find that one brand fits your face better than the others.

The best way to test the fit is to take it out of the packaging (don't worry, it's not stealing) and press the goggles gently into your eye sockets without putting the straps around your head.  They should create a solid seal and hold in place on their own.

The other style of goggles you'll encounter are designed more specifically for open water swimming.  They are built with larger lenses and sturdier frames.  Some still have individual gaskets (the rubber parts that suction cup to your face), while others have a single gasket - similar to what you would find on a SCUBA mask.  While they are somewhat more bulky, the larger lenses provide a better field of vision, and the thicker strapping systems can provide some with a more secure fit.

Why Spend the Extra Dough: You'll get quite a bit of bang for your buck with goggles.  When properly cared for, they can last years.  Spending $17 at a specialty store versus 7.99 at a department store will get you better rubber gaskets, higher quality plastic lenses and more adjustable straps so they're easier to fit to your head.

Swim Caps
What they do:  Control your mane, make you super hydro-dynamic, warm your noggin and keep your goggles in place.

Need Factor: 6/10
Cost Factor: $5-$12 (or FREE with races)

Where to Shop: See 'Goggles' above

What to Look For:  There are two types of swim caps: latex and silicone.  They also come as one-size-fits-all, so even you guys with monster craniums are in good shape.  So, just pick a color you like and snap it onto your head. 

Latex caps are the most common.  I've gotten one from every race I've ever done.  They're color-coded to match the wave I started with.  I shave my head though, so a cap doesn't make me any more streamlined in the water, nor does it contain my flowing mane (unless I pull it down over my eyebrows).  The only problem I've noticed with latex, is that after a couple of months in the chlorine pool, the material starts to fade and get thin, which leads me to the other type of swim cap...

Silicone caps usually run a buck or two more than their latex cousins.  The material is thicker, and not quite as stretchy.  Though, you still shouldn't have any problem putting it on.  Silicone's strength is its near indestructibility.  I've had the same black cap - seen in my profile photo to the right - for the last 3 years.  Do I take care of it?  Heck no.  I usually ball it up and stuff it in my bag in between my shower sandals and towel.  After one quick rinse to knock off any sand, it's ready to wear again. 

I'd also recommend silicone if you're prone to ice cream headaches when swimming in colder water.  The thicker material helps keep my melon warm.  Now, you're probably wondering, "why does he wear a swim cap if he's already bald?".   First of all, I'm not bald.  I CHOOSE to shave my head as a preemptive strike.  Second, since most tris require that each racer wear a cap, I may as well get used to it in practice.  Third, if you put your cap on over your goggles, it'll help hold them on your head.

Why Spend the Extra Dough:  Don't.  Seriously.  All swim caps do the same thing.

Swim Suits
What they do: Cover your bits 'n' pieces.

Need Factor: 10/10
Cost Factor: $15-$60+

Where to Shop: You know those goggles and swim caps?  Well, would you believe that you can get your suits there too?

What to look for:  Before I get too far, let me remind you, I'm a boy.  I have boy parts.  If you are a lady, with all those wonderful lady parts, please consider checking out a swimming specialty store or tri shop if you have any questions about fit.  Also, for now, we'll just take a look at suits for training.  I'll cover racing clothing later on.

As a boy, I'm fortunate that my suits cost a fraction of those the ladies wear.  Why are they cheaper?  I would imagine it's because they use considerably less fabric.  In any event, training suits come in a few different varieties.

The first is nylon shorts.  These are baggy, may have pockets and are conservative enough to wear to the beach without drawing too much attention to yourself.  The good news is that nylon is highly resistant to chlorine, so shorts like these can last pretty much indefinitely.  However, since they're loose, they'll slow you down in the water.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as training with a little extra resistance can serve to make you stronger.

 

Next up are your more serious training suits.  I'm partial to the Speedo Endurance line of products.  You can check out my review of their square-cut shorts here.  The longest option are jammer shorts.  Wearing these is like wearing cycling shorts without the pad.  If you're more modest, but still want a fast suit, jammers may be right up your alley.

As the legs get shorter, you come to the square-cut shorts.  I usually opt for these because they're a little less expensive than jammers (less fabric) but they still cover my tushy.

Finally, you have briefs.  These are what most people think of when they hear the word 'Speedo'.  No, they're not for everybody, especially the self conscious of us.  But heck, once you're in the water, nobody's going to be paying attention to the suit you're wearing.  So, try a few different suits on and go with what's comfortable.  If you want to sport some briefs while you train, knock yourself out.

Why Spend the Extra Dough: Honestly, as long as you're comfortable in the water, there's no need to spend a crazy amount of money on a suit.  If you do decide to invest more, I would highly recommend the Speedo Endurance line since the fabric will last much longer in the pool than standard brands.  Sure, the shorts will run you an extra $10 compared to their standard counterpart.  However, they'll last 4-5 times longer.

Well, there you have it.  Once you've got a suit, some goggles and maybe a swim cap, you're ready to hit the pool at your local Y, health club or rec center.  We've got 2 more sports to get geared up for, and once we've got you set up for cycling and running, we'll be ready to train.

Stay tuned.

Multisport on a Shoestring

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  Long time.  No post.  Don't worry.  I've got stuff coming down the pipe, and I'm hoping that today's post will be the first in a series to help out those of you who are just getting in to multisport racing, or are trying to train in race on a less-than-liberal budget.  You see, within the last couple of weeks, The Wife signed up to do her first duathalon.  Plus, not one, not two, not three but FOUR of my close friends have also signed up for their first races.  Some will be doing the YWCA Triathlon in August and one will be doing the IronGirl Du along with The Wife in September.  It's pretty exciting stuff.

Folks sign up for their first Tris and Dus for all sorts of reasons, but for the most part they fall into two categories: those with a bucket list, and those seeking a lifestyle change.  The bucket-listers see their first race as a new challenge, but may not have any long term plans after the race is finished.  Then, you have the lifestyle-changers.  Sure, their first race is a big deal, but they also have some other things lined up further off in the future.

Either way, getting set up to complete your first race could be a substantial investment.  Here are just a few expenses that you may have to look forward to:

Sprint Triathlon Race Fee: $50-$150
Bike: $250-$2000
Running Shoes: $50-$120
Cycling Gear (Helmet, Jersey, Shorts, Gloves): $100-$300
Gym Membership: $20-$50 per month

Gulp.

It's easier for the lifestyle-changers to justify the expense because they know they're likely to continue to use all their new gear.  It's a little bit different for the bucket-listers.  Understandably, it's harder to stomach the cost when it might be just a one-time deal.  Nobody wants to be looking at a $1500 bike sitting in their basement that hasn't been ridden in years.

My goal will be to help you spend your hard-earned cash effectively so that you can get the most bang for your buck.  I'll go over things like choosing what kind of bike to use, how to get set up with running shoes and how to fuel yourself without breaking the bank.

If you've been racing for a while now, I'm really not going to cover anything that you don't already know.  The 'Multisport on a Shoestring' series will be for my wife, my friends and any other newbies out there that just need a little nudge in the right direction.

Am I a pro triathlete or a coach?  No.  But, I do know how to eek every last ounce of value out of my dollar.

So, stay tuned and feel free to drop me a line if there's something that you'd like to see covered.

Toodles.

The Captain's 8 Rules of the Road

The snow is almost gone.  It's staying light later into the evening.  Folks in the cycling and tri communities are anxious to unplug from their trainers and hit the roads for some meaningful rides.  But, even in bicycle-friendly community like the Twin Cities, there are still plenty of opportunities for conflict. 

Cyclists and motorists often find themselves at odds.  Motorists think that cyclists are invading their turf.  Meanwhile, cyclists want to exercise their right to use the roads, but are wary because they aren't wrapped in two tons of steel to protect them in a crash.   There are jerks on both sides.  I'd pay real money to go for a long ride without someone yelling out their car window at me.  At the same time, I can't tell you how many times I've seen cyclists behaving like arrogant wieners.

So, with that in mind, here is a quick list of rules that I think responsible cyclists should follow:

1.  Remember Who You Ride For
Whether or not your realize it, when you ride, you are representing more than just yourself.  Sure, if you ride with a group or wear a team jersey, you've got them to worry about.  I don't want someone to catch me acting like an butt-munch when I'm wearing my kit from the Twin Cities Spoke.  But beyond that, you represent everyone else out there who throws on spandex and hops into the saddle.  Many drivers cringe every time they see a cyclist on the road dressed like Lance.  They see us as a menace.  The best thing we can do is represent ourselves well.  Bottom Line: If you're going to ride, don't be a douche about it.


2.  Don't Turn Off Your Brain
I know that it can be difficult to stay focused at all times, but having a lapse in concentration is one of the easiest ways to end up kissing pavement.  My biggest struggles are during long rides out in the country and during group rides.  During the long rides, I just get into a zone, where all I'm concentrating on is keeping my legs pumping (and maybe whatever song is playing on the IPod in my head).  During group rides, it's a little different.  It's really easy to just 'go with the flow' and hope the rider ahead of you has things under control.  Of course, if they don't you'll be eating their back wheel in no time.  This is also a good way to accidentally drop the slower members of the group.  I can't tell you how many times I've been on a club ride where we hit a stop light and have a conversation like this:
Person A: "Hey, where's the new guy"
Person B: "I don't know.  The last I saw, he was hanging on my wheel"
Person A: "But you were supposed to ride at the back of the pack to keep everyone together."
Person B: "D'oh"

3.  Know Your Route
This is a critical one for me.  Please - know where you plan to go before you hit the road.  I don't just mean knowing which streets to turn on.  Make yourself familiar with what you may encounter.  How busy is the traffic?  How wide are the shoulders?  Will you be riding during rush hour?  Is there some place to fill up your water bottle (or empty my bladder) or grab a bite to eat?  Which way is the wind blowing, and how will that impact whether I ride clockwise or counter-clockwise loops?

4.  File a Flight Plan
This is especially important if you'll be riding alone.  Make sure you let someone know where you'll be riding and about what time you'll be back.  It's the courteous thing to do to keep your spouse or significant other from worrying to death.  Plus, if you have a flat out of cell phone range, you can hope that they'll drive your route and pick up your sad, stranded butt.
If you're riding in a group, make sure that everyone either knows the route or is hooked up with someone who does - before the ride starts.  That way, if the plans need to change half-way through the ride, everyone will still be able to get home.


5.  Obey The Local Traffic Laws
As a cyclist, you have as much of a right to use the roads as any motorist.  However, if you are going to use their roads, you must follow the same laws that they do.  What does this mean?  Well, for one, if you see a stop sign, then stop.  Yeah, it may break up your rhythm.  Just look at is as an opportunity to practice your track-stand and your explosiveness off of the start line.  Around here, cops are ticketing more and more cyclists for moving violations. I'm not exactly pooping cash, so a $100 ticket for whipping through a stop sign in Wayzata would pretty much ruin my week.

6.  Be Predictable
Hold your line.  Don't make any sudden swerves or turns.  If a driver sees you going straight, they're going to expect you to continue along the same path. The same thing goes when riding in a group.  Peeling out unexpectedly may be a good way to get a jump on your opponents during a road race, but it's also a good way to startle a hapless newbie who just wants to build confidence riding in a peleton.

7.  Use Hand Signals
Get used to signaling every turn.  Left = Left arm straight out.  Right = Left arm up at 90-degree angle.  Stop = Left arm hanging down with palm facing back.  If you're in a group ride, practice signaling for obstacles like potholes, railroad tracks, sand and broken glass.  Learn them.  Know them.  Love them.  Use them.  Oh, and if you start to consider using the most popular "hand signal", reconsider rule #1.

8.  Spread Good Will
The best way to share the road is to play nice with those with whom you are sharing.  If a driver makes an effort to be nice, then make eye contact, smile, and give them a little wave.  You'll feel good.  They'll feel good, and you can sleep better at night knowing that there's one less driver on the road that wants to run you over.

Well, there you have it.  It's not too tough.  Most of it boils down to treating others the way you'd like to be treated. 

I know I haven't posted much recently.  I've been mourning the loss of a training partner of mine (don't worry, it's not as serious as it sounds).  But, I'll be back tomorrow with a little memorial, and a bit about what I'm doing to move forward.

Good Massages vs. Bad Massages

In my last post, I talked about how The Wife and spent Valentine's Day.  We decided to treat ourselves to a couples massage.  Now, because we were able to spend the day together, we had a great time.  The massage experience on the other hand, for lack of a better word, sucked. 

I've had several massages over the last few years.  They've either been couples massages to celebrate an anniversary, or as a post-race reward.  But I have never had one as bad as Monday afternoon.  In fact, it was so bad that we decided to get another couples massage on Friday at a different location just wash the Monday debacle out of our brains.  Ordinarily, we wouldn't choose to spend the money on this.  We're not rich.  There are more important things we're saving for and treats like this only come a handful of times each year.  Most of the time, I'm happy with using a foam roller to work out the kinks.  But, it was important to The Wife (and thus, important to me).

So, Friday evening we headed over to a different Spa.  This time we chose Sanctuary Salonspa.  It was a FAR superior experience.  We left relaxed and refreshed and not at all remorseful that we chose to spend a little of our hard-earned cash.  That got me thinking.  What made this massage so much better than the one earlier in the week?  Why was Spa X (not their real name, but my Mama always said, "If you can't say anything nice, zip it") a waste of money, and Sanctuary Salonspa transcendent?  Let's take a look. 

Scheduling & Customer Service
Your first step for getting a massage is arranging an appointment.  It's also where you'll decide the type of massage you'll get (relaxation, deep tissue, stone, etc.) how much your session will cost and possibly make a partial payment

Spa X
This is where our frustration started.  When The Wife called to arrange the appointment, she told there was a Valentine's Day special of X dollars for a couples massage.  When we settled our bill after the appointment, we were told that their 'special' was actually X dollars PER PERSON.  Now, I don't know about you, but when I'm told a price for a couples massage, I expect that price to cover both people.  This was like shopping for shoes only to find out that the store charges per shoe.  Was Spa X outright deceptive?  Eh, maybe.  Could they have been more transparent about their billing?  Absolutely.

Sanctuary Salonspa
There were no issues here.  We knew what to expect going in and what our bill would be at the end of the day..  The Wife arranged for a deep tissue massage for me and a relaxing Swedish massage for herself.  

The Meet-and-Greet
People get massages for all sorts of different reasons.  Your masseuse should review these reasons with you prior to your session.  They should ask you if special attention should be paid to any specific muscle groups and determine what kind of pressure you are comfortable with. 

For me, I want to know that the session is functional.  Sure, I want it to be relaxing, but I also want to have some kinks and knots worked out.  Loose muscles will help prevent injury and facilitate healing.  Loose back and shoulder muscles will even help me stay in the aero position longer and more comfortably.

Spa X
There was no meet and greet the first time around.  We were directed into our room by the receptionist, where we disrobed and waited under the blankets on our massage tables.  The masseuses came in, told us their names, and got to work.

Sanctuary Salonspa
After heading into separate locker rooms and changing into robes and sandals, The Wife and I sat down for a moment with our masseuses for a moment to talk about our sessions.  My masseuse, April, would focus on my traps (neck and shoulder), lats (outer-middle back), quads and calves.  My pressure would be a 7 or 8 out of 10.  In essence, she would be firm enough to work out the knots, but wouldn't beat the holy heck out of me until I was a quivering lump of goo. 

The Atmosphere
This shouldn't be too complicated. Everything about the spa's setup should be soothing, from the music, to the staff, to the decor.  I don't want to be distracted or taken out of the moment during my session. 

Spa X
Spa X also does manicures and pedicures.  They had a TV on in the main customer area running soap operas with the volume turned up to 11.  Needless to say, it wasn't what I was looking for.

Sanctuary Salonspa
The spa area was separated from the main customer area and from the hair styling and manicure/pedicure areas.  It was nice and peaceful; just the way I like it.


The Massage
Here is where the rubber meets the road.  We were paying good money for this.

Spa X
The massage at Spa X was nondescript.  Sure, they worked my shoulders, back, legs and arms, but didn't actually press down hard enough to make a difference.  I didn't feel like any progress was made.  I felt the same coming out of the massage as I did going in.  In fact, the only thing I can specifically remember about the experience was the 'smack-smack-smack' coming from my masseuse as she chewed her gum.

Sanctuary Salonspa
I knew quickly that this massage was going to have an impact.  We found a nice thick knot over my right shoulder blade.  April worked for several minutes on just this area, digging in deep to loosen up the knot.  I won't lie.  There were times when it hurt like a sonuvabitch, but she just told me to focus on my breathing, which helped me deal with the pain.  My legs were in pretty decent shape - no major knots there.  Although, I did find out that my quads are wicked ticklish. 

In the end, we had a much more rewarding experience at Sanctuary Salonspa.  Sure, it cost a few extra bucks compared to some of the budget places around town, but the extra money was worth it - especially for The Wife and I that only indulge ourselves a couple times per year. Now, this may sound like a commercial for Sanctuary Salonspa, but I'm not being paid to kiss their butts.  Shoot. I'm trying to save for a new bike.  I may not be back in a spa again for years.  Though, I've had massages at several different places, both good and bad.  In my experience, these folks rate right near the top.

TIPS

So, if you're in the market for a massage.  I would recommend the following:

1.  Ask around.  The best place to start is with a referral.  

2.  Do your research.  Internet reviews are a good place to start, but to really ensure you're not going to get hosed, you should make the appointment in person.  Ask for a tour and check to see if everything meets your needs. 

3.  Keep the communication lines open.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  Also, make sure you are clear about your needs and expectations. 

4.  Tips - as in gratuity.  This is a service industry after all.  Be generous - more so if they do an excellent job. Don't be a grinch.


I'm glad that The Wife and I had a chance to have a 'redo' on our spa date.  Could I have settled for a few minutes with the foam roller?  I suppose so.  But that's not really the point.  Sometimes we need to treat ourselves.

It's Okay to be a Noob

Things are crazy at the gym right now.  Why?  Well, January and February tend to be the most crowded times of the year.  Part of the crowd is due to the lousy weather.  I don't know a lot of people that want to go for a run when its -20 degrees.  But, most of the crowd is composed of 'Resolutionists'.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's the folks that decided on New Years Day that they were finally going to get in shape this year (and this time, they meant it).

That's cool though.  I'm not going to get mad at someone that is trying to turn things around and get fit.  Good for them.  However, it is kinda funny for those of us who spend a reasonable amount of time in the gym 12 months out of the year.  The noobs (noobs stands for 'newbies', so just relax Mom, it's not a dirty word) tend to stick out like a sore thumb.

Maybe you're one of them.  Maybe you're a noob.  Maybe this is your year to change up your lifestyle and finally drop some weight.   But, maybe you don't want to stick out like a sore thumb.  I don't blame you.  Sticking out from the crowd offends my reserved Midwestern sensibilities. Well, if all you want to do is blend in and 'get your sweat on' then this post is for you.

How NOT to be a Noob at the gym.

Untuck that shirt Gramps
This is mostly directed at you middle-aged men.  Nothing screams 'I'm new here!' like a nice tucked-in cotton t-shirt and shorts pulled up to your armpits.  Save that look for trips to the beach where you can wear that outfit with your black socks and sandals.  Of course, there are a few exceptions.  For example, if you're going into a yoga class, then tuck away.  I don't want to be in the middle of a head-stand only to have my shirt fall and expose my Buddha-belly.

Don't be a filthy pig
I sweat.  I sweat a lot.  It only takes about 10 minutes of running and I look like I just showered in my clothes.  That sweat tends to splash all over the equipment and just plain funk up the place.  Wipe up your filth after your done with the machines.  Most gyms will have some paper towels and disinfectant.  Use them.  Seriously.

Don't forget to stretch
I cannot emphasize this enough.  I've seen folks huffing and puffing their way through a long treadmill workout, only to finish their run, hop off and head straight to the locker room.  Want to know why you have problems walking down stairs the next day?  Well, you're legs are probably a little cranky because they haven't been stretched.  It's best to stretch warm muscles.  For treadmill days, I like to run for about 10 minutes and then stretch for another 10-15 minutes before starting the main workout.  After the workout, a little light stretching is in order - just enough to keep the muscles loose.


Stay Hydrated
Ya gotta keep the fluids flowing.  Sure, if you don't drink any water you'll initially lose quite a few pounds.  Shoot.  You could lose 5-10 pounds during a long run. Don't mistake this for genuine weight loss.  Like I posted a few weeks ago, you aren't actually getting fit.  Congratulations - you're dehydrated.  What's a good barometer to determine if you're dehydrated?  It's all about the pee.  If yours is near-clear to clear, then you're in good shape.  If it looks like beef stock, it's time to up the fluid intake. 


Pace yourself
This goes right along with stretching.  It's cool to start slow.  We all have to start somewhere.  In fact, if your main goal is losing weight, it's actually more beneficial to do a longer workout at a somewhat slower pace than something high-intensity but short.  The same thing goes for weights.  Sure, we all want to impress onlookers by lifting that giant stack of metal plates, but starting at a weight that is beyond your own ability is an invitation for injury, and just plain dangerous.


You're not there to get noticed
I know.  This is a tough one.  But there's a time and a place to draw attention to yourself.  As much as you may think so, grunting and screaming your way through a bench press set like you're passing a kidney stone isn't as cool as it sounds.  Repeatedly flexing your man-boobs in front of the mirror is just plain gross.  This goes for you too ladies.  You're not fooling anyone when you do your makeup BEFORE your workout and proceed to push your ta-tas up to your chin.  Exercise a little subtlety.  If you guys and girls REALLY want to get noticed, then sign up for a 5K or a sprint tri.  Then, you can cross the finish line to loud cheers and wave your arms like an orangutan until they go numb. 

Well, that should get you started.  The best advice I can give a noob is to stick with it.  Remember why you're there.  It's called a workout for a reason.  Get to work.  Find a routine that works for you and keep at it.  Mix things up a little to keep from getting bored and be patient.  You may not be ready for a new wardrobe after only a few weeks, or even a few months, but you'll get there.  Pretty soon, YOU'LL be the one giving the noobs advice.

Oh, and there are only a few days left to vote in my poll.  Get at it. 

Later gators.

Why The Biggest Loser is the Worst Show on TV

Before you get too deep into this, you'll probably want to make sure that you check out yesterday's post first.  In it, I explain why The Wife and I love watching The Biggest Loser.  Thanks to the magic of our DVR, we haven't missed an episode since getting hooked a few years ago.  In a lot of ways, it's the best show on TV.  While that's all fine and good, the show has some problems - serious problems. 

Sure, maybe I overreacted just a little bit.  I don't actually consider The Biggest Loser the absolute worst piece of garbage on the airways.  That distinction is actually a tie between any and every show with the word 'housewives' in the title.

Here's where The Biggest Loser misses the mark:


1.  They're having a Pity Party and everyone's invited.

Most of the contestants on the show didn't get to their heaviest without having a few issues.  For some, it's just a matter of slowly losing control and letting their diet and sedentary lifestyle get out of hand.  For others, the problems are a little more intense. 

Last season, there was a mother whose daughter had started starving herself to keep from becoming like her mother.  There was a young lady whose parents made her feel guilty for her young brother's accidental death when they were children.  A few seasons ago there was even a woman whose husband and three young children were recently killed in a car accident.  My word.  I'd say that being overweight was the least of their worries.

Obviously, these issues will need to be addressed for the contestant to adjust to their new way of living.  The issues aren't the problem.  We all have 'em.  The problem I have with the show is how the viewer is constantly reminded of these struggles.  In-between the workouts and weigh-ins, it's a constant parade of teary-eyed confessionals.  I'm not trying to be callous, but it gets old.  When a 2-hour show gives me an hour of heartbreak and upheaval, I feel like I need to suck down a pint of ice cream just to cope with the emotions.

If the producers really want to help motivate us, they should give us fewer water-works sessions and more time focusing on the 'hows' and 'whys' of weight loss.  Show us how to put together a responsible, attainable diet; give us examples of effective workout plans and stop making us ride an emotional roller coaster.  Oh, and when someone is going through a deeply personal breakthrough, maybe you could, oh I don't know, take the camera out of their face for 5 minutes and let them deal with things.  We'll all understand.  Trust me.



2.  I'm not fooled by your product placement.

Okay.  So, you're a contestant on the show, and you just happen to be sitting around the kitchen with some of your other contestant buddies.  You just happen to be talking about the dilemma of how to carry healthy snacks around town.  Then, one of the handy-dandy trainers just happens to walk around the corner to 'educate' you about the new Ziploc snack bags?  Really?

I know that the network needs to make their money somewhere, but every time I get duped into watching one of these pseudo-commercials thinking that it's part of the actual show I feel my IQ drop 5 points.  If the network wants to bombard me with ads (which they have the right to do) they don't need to be sneaky about it.  Just decorate all of the contestant's workout shirts with logos - like a NASCAR driver.  We'll get the idea.

3. It sets impossible weight-loss expectations.

This is the issue that hits me the hardest.  It set's the bar unreasonably high.  Some of these contestants are consistently losing 10 pounds or more each week.  For the average overweight American trying to get back in shape, the math is not in their favor.  Look:

Fact: One pound of fat contains 3500 calories.  Fact: During the Ironman bike leg, I burned approximately 7,000 calories.  Even if I took 100% of my energy from fat, I still only lost 2 pounds during that effort.  That means that for someone to lose 10 pounds of fat in one week, they would have to bike approximately 550 miles.  I'll even be nice and give them the weekend off.

Now, just to clarify.  I have had single workouts where I finish weighing 5 or more pounds less than when I started.  However, most of that is water weight.  If you plan on losing weight like this, you won't be getting healthy; you'll be getting dehydrated. 

I don't know about you, but even during my heaviest Ironman training, I didn't come close to 550 miles of cycling per week.  Now, imagine an obese viewer of The Biggest Loser who decides to get their act together.  They start to eat healthy and hit the gym hard expecting to see the same magical weight-loss numbers that appear on the show.  But after a month of slaving away, they've only managed to lose a few pounds.  I can imagine that it would be pretty discouraging.

What the show needs to do is place more of an emphasis on educating the viewers on how to develop long-term goals.  Remind us that losing weight is like turning a large ship; you can turn the wheel, but it's going to take a little while for it to complete the turn and face the other direction.  Sure, it's still great to be inspired (and impressed) by some truly amazing results, but for the love of Pete, help the rest of us who don't have access to world-class trainers, nutritionists and facilities. 


Will I keep watching the show?  Absolutely.  Will I encourage others to check it out?  Sure.  It's good entertainment.  However, if you're looking for personal answers to impact your own life, you can do a lot better than trying to derive them from a TV show. 

A Holiday Gift Guide for the Triathlete in Your Life

Holiday shopping for a triathlete can be a tricky business.  We're finicky folks that can spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing over things like swim goggles, hydration systems and shoelaces. 

Now, before I get started, I need to say that the best thing you can do is to ask your athlete what they want.  They'll probably already have a few good ideas.  Plus, asking saves you from having to worry on Christmas morning whether those new Speedo briefs you got them were really a good idea.  But, for those of you who thrive off of surprising their loved ones...well, I'm here for you.

What NOT to buy your athlete
Let's start with things that should be avoided.

Cycling Shorts and Running Shoes - These can be very personal choices for an athlete.  Unless you know ahead of time that they prefer a certain brand of shorts, or certain model of running shoe, it's probably best to steer clear.  Sure, they might say 'thank you' and smile awkwardly.  But, you don't want them to find out on mile 2 of a 10-mile run that their shiny new running shoes give them blisters.  Poorly fitting cycling shorts will soon find their way to the bottom of a drawer and be given the role of 'Emergency Backup'. What's worse is that you could pick the wrong color shorts and your loved one could end up like these, um, 'upstanding' young gentlemen.

Uh, excuse me.  EXCUSE ME!  My eyes are up HERE!

Nutrition - Now, I'm not saying that a couple of Clif Bars in a stocking is a bad thing.  They make a good post-workout snack.  Just try to avoid the 24-Packs of energy bars and giant tubs of drink mixes.  I, for one, still can't eat a Shot Blok since finishing the Ironman almost 3 months ago.

What will REALLY make your athlete's day

Race Photos - Most racers hesitate when buying these for themselves.  That makes it a perfect opportunity for you.  Many races have contracts with photographers that will store photos for months or years.  A quick Google search for, say, something like 'Liberty Triathlon Photos' should put you on the photographer's website where you can buy that really rad photo of your athlete hammering it on the bike.  Toss that sucker into a frame and you're in like Flynn.

Race Entries - Lots of races have their best deals for entry fees at the end of the year.  If you know that your athlete does the same race every year, offer to cover their entry costs.  Maybe they'll even put your name on their jersey as a 'sponsor'.

Massages - A gift certificate for a 1-hour sports massage is a GREAT way to tell your athlete you love 'em.  Better yet, schedule it for the afternoon after a shorter race, or the next day after a longer race. It'll be just the reward they're looking for.

Garmin Gear - If you've got a little extra money to spend, think about a GPS/Heart Rate Monitor.  I LOVE my Garmin Forerunner 305.

The Garmin Forerunner 305

It tracks all of my runs and rides so that I never have to slave over Google Maps to find out where I went.  It also tracks my heart rate, pace, distance and just about every other stat that you can think of.  There's also the Forerunner 310xt (in orange below) if you're looking for a waterproof model and the Forerunner 405 if you want something with a smaller screen that looks more watch-y and less like a windshield on your wrist.

Something Safe - Every cyclist should have a Road ID.  These handy little bracelets and anklets provide vital information in the event that something serious were to happen to you out there on the road.

For the REALLY hardcore runners, you know, the one's that run outside even in the dead of night during winter, a reflective vest can come in handy. 

Something Funky - Wanna make your athlete's day?  Try something unique that every other athlete may not already own.  Get them a swim cap with a funky design like this guy:

Jersey's are great for this too.  I'm partial to these offerings from Share the Damn Road.

Books and Magazine Subscriptions - One of the perks for signing up for the Ironman was getting a year's subscription to LAVA Magazine.  I've received 3 issues so far and read each of them from cover to cover.  They've officially replaced Uncle John's Bathroom Reader as my favorite, ahem, 'alone time' entertainment.  If your athlete is just getting into the sport, I also recommend Triathlete Magazine.  It's less intimidating than LAVA and a bit more accessible, but the articles aren't quite as in-depth.

For books, I highly recommend The Triathlete's Training Bible by Joe Friel.  I received my copy from a friend and it's been handy for everything from nutrition, to goal setting, to creating a training schedule.  It's good stuff. 

Gift Certificates - I know, I know.  Lots of you don't like the idea of gift cards, because they aren't as personal, or they don't come in a nice big box. But, when all else fails, a few extra bucks at a local bike shop, Gear West or REI can go a long way.

Odds 'n' Ends - For quick, easy and cheap gifts, you can't really go wrong with Body Glideor Chamois Butt'r to keep the blisters away.  My sister gave me a CamelBak Podium Bottle last year.  I liked it so much I bought a second so I could have a couple on hand for longer rides. A cyclist can never have too many spare tubes,  Yankz! laces are great for runners, and  reflective tape can be added to any clothing to temporarily brighten things up.

Well, that should get you started.  Don't stress out too much if you can't pick out the perfect item to give your athlete this year.  Hopefully they have lives outside of training and racing.  A nice sweater or a warm pair of socks never hurt anybody. 

Oh, and Santa, if you're reading this, what I really, really REALLY want is an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.  But if that's not cool, I suppose I could settle for a Leopard TT.

Happy Shopping!

Oh, yeah, and don't forget to 'Like' me on Facebook to keep notified of my future posts.  Just use the button on the right side of the page, or click here. (You too Santa!)

It's Election Day!

Go vote.  Seriously.  If you're a US Citizen and you haven't voted yet, stop reading this and get your butt to the polls.  I'm not kidding.  Get moving.

After all, if you don't exercise your contitutional right to vote, you can't exercise your contitutional right to bitch and moan about the election on Wednesday morning.

If you don't know who's running, shame on you.  Fortunately, there's this thing called The Interwebs that can provide you with all sorts of information about the candidates in your area.  Search it.  Use it.  Love it.

So get out there, pull your lever, color in your circles and pick up your 'I Voted' sticker.  You'll be glad you did.

How to Pick a Good Race

The other day, a good friend of mine approached me with some tri-related questions.  You see, some co-workers of his had just completed a local race and came away with a less-than-impressed feeling.  They wanted to know if there were other local tris - sprints and oly-distance races - that I could recommend.

Well, I could come up with a good half-dozen off the top of my head, but their question got me thinking.  I've been in well-run races, but I've also been at events that can be best described using words that begin with 'cluster' and 'circle'.   So, when the rubber meets the road, what makes a good event?  What should one look for when selecting an event, and what should be expected when competing?

I'll start by going over what I look for before picking an event.  Then, I'll go over the things that you should expect from each race and some red flags that you should consider 'athlete repellent'. 

Before the Event

Okay, so last January you made a resolution to 'get back into shape'.  You started running, swimming and even bought a bike.  You want to sign up for a race, but want to make sure you'll have a good time.  Races aren't cheap.  This isn't like the local 5K where you can race for $15 and still walk away with a free t-shirt.  Even the cheapest sprint tris are usually over $50, and prices go up from there.  Bottom line: how do you get the most bang for your buck?

1.  Location

This one is fairly straight-forward.  Some folks like to pick a destination race that serves as a kind of mini-vacation.  My first race was an Olympic in Winona - about 2 1/2 hours southeast of the Twin Cities.  It was a nice town to visit and race in, but traveling with all the gear got a little complex.

In the end, I'd recommend picking a local race for your first.  There will be fewer travel concerns on race day, plus, you'll be able to race portions of the course and get the lay of the land.

2.  Triathlete Forums

That's right.  Hit The Interwebs.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again - Beginner Triathlete is a great source.  In addition to member's race reviews, there's also a very active forum.  Have a question?  Just start a thread in the forum and you'll get the answers you need.   Earlier this year, I posted some questions in the Wisconsin forum about training on the Ironman course and got plenty of good advice.

Slowtwitch also has some valuable insight to offer.  Although, I've found that it caters to the more experienced athlete.  If you're new to the scene, it may not be for you.  However, if you're a techno-weenie that could spend all day discussing optimal race wattage and the 15-degree aerodynamic properties of your Zipp 808 wheelset, then Slowtwitch would be right up your alley.


3.  The Race Website

Race sites can be really hit-or-miss.  You should expect sites to be organized and current.  Links to registration information and course maps should be easy to find and understand.  Let's look at two examples.

Here's the course map for Trinona - my first race:

It's easy to read, well laid out and organized.  It even includes both Sprint and Oly distances without getting cluttered.

And here's the run map from the St. Paul Triathlon, a race that The Wife and I did as a relay last year:

It looks like someone found a map on-line, printed it, then scanned it, then used MS Paint to 'touch things up'.  Boo.  Hiss.

Looking at the two course maps, which race do you think would be more well organized?  #1 - right?  Yeah.  Me too.  Now, I'm not saying that a well-run site always means a well-run race, but it IS a good indicator.


During the Event


So you've done your research, got some forum advice, picked a race and laid down your hard-earned cash on registration.  Great.  Assuming that you've kept up with your training, the only thing left to do is to reap the rewards.  But what should you expect from the race?

1.  Well-Informed Volunteers

Volunteers are the backbone of any event.  They do everything from directing traffic, to life guarding, to  handing out fuel on the course.  I'm not suggesting that any one volunteer is better than another.  However, how the race director prepares the volunteers is critical.  The last thing you want is to hit a turn on the bike course and be sent in the wrong direction, or ask where the medical tent is and get a shoulder-shrug.

2.  An Organized Transition Area

The swim-in, bike out/in, and run out should all be clearly marked.  Areas for relay teams and elite athletes should be separate from the age-groupers.  I don't want to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to get to the site early, set up my transition area and then find out that I have to move because someone forgot to mark the transition aisles.

Some may disagree with me, but I think that transition areas should be off-limits for anyone that isn't an athlete or a volunteer.  If you're there to cheer, that's great, but I'll have to wait to see you until I'm on the course or at the finish line.

3.  Well-Marked Course Routes

First, let me say this: It is the responsibility of EVERY racer to know the course prior to race day.   That said, when you're actually on the course, you'll be focused on your burning lungs and achy legs, and may need a reminder which way to turn next.

On the swim, buoys should be large and frequent.  On a windy day, basketball-sized buoys aren't going to be easy to see over the waves.  Turn buoys - those placed on the corners of the course - should certainly be easily visible.

For the bike, most races are going to have a volunteer or police officer at each intersection.  Gravel should be swept off of the road for any turns.  For races that have two distance racing simultaneously - Sprint and Oly for example - there should be clear signage so that you don't accidentally turn back onto the course when you should be on our way to the run.

On the run, signage isn't usually as big a deal.  There is usually some kind of 'caution tape' to get runners headed in the right direction after T2.  Again - if two different distances are running at the same time, the routes should be clear.

4.  Adequate Hydration and Nutrition

For sprint races, this isn't usually an issue.  I would not expect a water or sport drink refueling stop on the bike course.  On the run, 1 or 2 stops is plenty for a 5K.  However, on longer courses, especially during hot days, adequate fuel can make the difference between a Personal Record and a Sad Panda.

For example,  during the Liberty Triathlon last June, there were bottle-drops every 14 miles.  That's 3 stops for the 56-mile course.  Nice.

However, last year, I did the Square Lake 1/2 Ironman out in Stillwater.  There was 1 bottle drop at the half-way point of the bike.  You had a choice of either water or Gatorade, and that was it.  Oh, and did I mention that it was 92 frickin' degrees that day?  For racers expecting to 'live off the course' this was not a good thing.

That said, if you are planning to do a longer race, try to find out what nutrition will be available on the course for race day.  If you're used to Gatorade and they're serving HEED, you may want to integrate that into your training so that it's not a shock to your system.  You don't want to be belching up gels and sport drink all over your new racing singletl.

5.  Good Swag

I'll be honest.  For all the reasons that I tri, one reigns above them all: FREE STUFF.  If you want to keep me coming back year after year, you've got to offer me more than just the same ol' blue t-shirt.

Here are shirts from some of the races and events I've done over the last couple of years.  Tell me if you can see a pattern...

Okay, the Liberty shirt (lower right) is a technical T and that's pretty cool.

I'm looking for something a little more unique.  Most races will give you a 'swag bag' filled with anything from sponsor coupons to snacks, to chamois cream (note: do NOT mix up snacks and chamois cream).  But I get a kick out of races that forge their own trail for giveaways.

The Chaska Tri does a great job of this.  No, you don't get a t-shirt for this event, you get a frickin' transition bag!  For a $55 entry fee, that's a pretty good deal.

Last year's was pretty sweet...

It was also pointed out to me by some friends that this would make a great diaper bag.  Thanks guys, way to ruin my transition bag for me. 

This year, things got even cooler...

Yep, that's a backpack style bag, stainless water bottle and running gloves.  SWEET!

6.  Easy Access to Results and Photos

Once your race is done, the next thing you're going to want (other than a hamburger and a massage) is a look at the race results.  A well-run race will have results on-line within 24 hours.  Some races will even have a results station on-site where you can give a volunteer your race number and they will print off a receipt with your race time, splits and rankings. If you screw up the timing, or it takes you 2 weeks to post results, that's a good way to keep people from coming back to your event.

The same thing goes for race photos.  A quality race will have photos available within a week, with a link placed on the race home page.  After all, the narcissist in all of us is going to want to look through each and every one to find that elusive "lookin' good in spandex" photo.



Well, there you have it.  This should get you off to a good start.  Should you have any questions, or want to recommend some other things to improve your race-day experience feel free to zap me an e-mail. 

Later gators.